Banished
by ItsMadness
Summary: Loki stood up for Thor prior to his banishment to Midgard. With the Thunder God's safety in question, Loki travels to the mortal realm to look after him- defying the Allfather and changing the fate of the Nine Realms forever. AU, Thorki/ThunderFrost, Slash. Warnings inside. (HIATUS. In the process of being rewritten)
1. Chapter One

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not own Thor, the Avengers, or any of the characters. I'd like to think only the plot belongs to me, though even that is heavily influenced by the movies. Only thing I own is the television I used to watch them and the computer I use to write this story.**

**A/N****: This takes place during **_**Thor**_**, after Thor, Loki, Sif, and the Warriors Three returned from Jotunheim. Loki did not need Odin's confirmation to know he is a Frost Giant, he already puzzled it out after Laufey broke the seal on Loki.**

**WARNINGS****: Thorki (Thor/Loki pairing). Yes, that means this will eventually be SLASH. A relationship between two males. If that's not your cup of tea, then I strongly suggest you hit the back-button and skip this story. You have been warned.**

**This also contains some torture, some angst, and some smut (in later chapters). Don't like, don't read. **

**For those of you who don't mind any of the things described above, then read on and enjoy!**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

"The Jotuns must _learn_ to fear me! Just as they once feared _you!_"

Thor did not see Loki look away, a frown pulling at his lips.

Odin shook his head, giving his firstborn a sharp glance. "That is pride and vanity talking, not leadership! You've forgotten everything I've taught you- about a warrior's patience!"

Thor scoffed. "While you wait and be _patient_ the Nine Realms laugh at us! You'd stand and give speeches while Asgard falls."

That was the last straw for Odin's temper. "You are a VAIN, GREEDY, CRUEL BOY!"

"AND YOU ARE AN OLD MAN, AND A FOOL!"

Loki gave an imperceptible cringe, watching the Allfather and his son glare at each other. It was quite obvious where Thor received his quick, explosive temper from.

Odin's eyes narrowed, observing his son with a disappointed gaze.

"Yes... I was a fool. To think you were ready."

"Father-" Loki knew where this was going, and it sent a curl of dread through his gut.

_No, no, no, no... don't do this father..._

The King's furious growl sent Loki reeling back as if slapped, biting his tongue as he looked between the Allfather and the god of thunder. His green eyes were wide, and filled with uncharacteristic concern.

"Thor Odinson," the one-eyed ruler began- a voice like steel. "You have betrayed the express command of your your arrogance and _stupidity_, you have opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!"

Loki noticed a slight flinch in Thor's features- the Allfather's words having an impact on the god. He removed his staff, only to replace it inside the conduit with a harsh stab. The Bifrost began to spin, the deafening roar filling the god of mischief's ears. He could not believe what was happening- what their father was doing...

"You are unworthy of these realms! You are unworthy of your title!-" with each sentence Thor's armor was stripped away, his cape ripped off his back and- Loki thought he could see- his pride too, was ripped from his heart.

"You are unworthy..." Odin took a step closer, fixing the thunderer with a disappointed, icy gaze that could have frozen even the warmest hearts. "...of the loved ones you have betrayed."

Loki could scarcely believe what he was hearing. What he saw their _father_ doing.

"I now take from you, your power!" Mjölnir broke away from Thor's grip, surging into the hand of the Allfather. "In the name of my father- and his father before- I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!"

The light from Mjölnir was blinding, but Loki could not make himself look away. Thor was knocked backwards, his very essence absorbed by the power of the Bifrost. The trickster god caught a glimpse of Thor's expression before he disappeared- a mixture of hurt, betrayal, and- could that be fear?

As the Bifrost dimmed, slowing down, Loki reached out a hand, rushing to where Thor disappeared- the sting of tears that would not fall glistening in his eyes. He barely heard his father's whisper, locking away the power of Mjölnir, before throwing it into the portal just before it closed.

Long after the bridge had closed, Loki turned to his father, his eyes filled with anger.

"...how could you? You _fool_-! You've sent him to _Midgard_? You have no idea the danger he could be in- without his power and no knowledge of their present ways... that realm is far more dangerous than it was when _you_ last visited! You pretend to be wise, yet you have sent your son as weak as a lamb into a realm of greedy, blood-thirsty..."

"_Hold your tongue!_" The Allfather's voice was like a whip, cracking with such fury Loki found himself silent without his permission.

"Do not dare defy me as well, Loki." Odin growled, removing his staff from the Bifrost conduit. "You disappointed me, by not informing me of Thor's plans, and instead going with him-"

"There was no stopping him!"

"I care not for your _lies_," he hissed. "You have disobeyed me, and you will face the consequences. Return to the palace."

When Loki did not move, the Allfather slammed his staff down with a _crack!_

"NOW!"

Loki could do nothing but obey- he feared he'd already pushed the king too far. Casting one last betrayed look back, he fled the Bifrost as quickly as he could without appearing that he was fleeing. He still had his pride after all.

He could only hope that Thor stayed safe.

* * *

The stabs of white-hot pain ripped at Loki's back, the heated, barbed metal at the end of the whip slicing through his flesh, leaving burning, trails of scorched, bloody skin in their wake.

"You have defied me for the _last_ time, Loki!" Another crack of the whip, and this time Loki had to bite his tongue to silence a cry of pain.

"Tell me, was it Thor's idea to go to Jotunheim? Or was it _you_, manipulating him into trouble yet again?"

"I _didn't_-"

"_Cease your lies!_" The burning barbs cut deep enough to graze his spine, causing a low whimper to escape his lips unbidden.

The Allfather continued to speak, but his words did not register in Loki's mind- the trickster unable to think clearly through the searing pain. The whip was relentless, giving no pause between lashes.

He was sure he was screaming now, choked cries of agony brought forth with every slice of the whip. But even his own shouts were muffled by the blood rushing in his ears, and the pain radiating from his back.

He would have fled, but Odin had bound his magic temporarily, and his hands were stuck to the floor. The trickster was slumped on the ground, unable to hold himself upright anymore. He lost count of the minutes, but guessed he must have been there for at least forty, the crack of the whip counting seconds for him.

He was grateful when the strikes slowed- though he wasn't sure why at first. A god's stamina was unparalleled in all the nine realms- even more so for the Allfather. But he did not have to puzzle for long, as he heard the Queen speaking furiously to her husband.

_Ah, the loving mother come to rescue her bastard child._

She would never raise her voice- in all the time Loki had lived, he had never once heard the wife of Odin shout.

Loki was unsure for how long Odin and Frigga argued, but finally he heard his father's heavy steps fade away, and the light gait of the Queen moving towards him.

"Oh, my poor Loki..."

He watched through pain-clouded eyes as she detached his hands from the floor, and used her own slight magic to carefully unbind his. He breathed a ragged sigh, feeling his magic return to him like a soothing but powerful wave.

"Are you able to stand?" she inquires softly.

_Of course_. "Yes..." His back may burn like the fires of Muspelheim, but his legs still functioned.

Picking himself up, Loki adjusted his tunic as best he could without aggravating his wounds. He ignored Frigga's gentle- _pitying_- gaze as he straightened his posture with as much dignity as he could muster. He was still a prince, after all.

She sighed quietly, patting his arm gently.

"Go tend your wounds, my son."

Loki gives a brief nod, but does not speak. Frigga watches as her son vanishes, no doubt reappearing within the privacy of his chambers. She looks down at the rather large pool of blood on the floor, before summoning a servant to clean it up- erasing the evidence of Loki's punishment.

_Odin's temper has grown more volatile._

And Frigga was not sure which son she feared for the most in that moment.

* * *

Loki stripped his mangled tunic from his body, scowling in disgust at the blood-stained garments. That had been his favorite one to wear.

Stripping down to his trousers and tossing the layers of clothing aside, the god of mischief sat at the edge of his bed, hissing quietly as his back stretched. Bracing his hands on his knees, the god's eyebrows furrowed in discomfort as he directed his magic to his scorched and mangled skin. His teeth bared, eyes shut tight as the flesh began to knit back together, the process painful- but it was a welcome ache in comparison to the agony from before.

He felt the wounds heal, and the scars slowly fade until the skin of his back became smooth and whole again. He would undoubtedly need to bathe to rid himself of the blood, but at the moment he was content to simply lay back and allow the cool bed covers to rest against his newly healed flesh. With an absent flick of his fingers the large windows opened, allowing a mild breeze into his chambers.

Thoughts of Thor were at the forefront of his mind. Was the thunderer safe? Unharmed? Loki could not stifle his worry- the golden god was now weak as a mortal, and with no knowledge of how to protect himself in their so-called _modern_ world. It was enough to set even Loki on edge.

No, more than that. For once he was genuinely, and truly afraid for his brother- no, not brother. Thor. Oh, Loki pretended otherwise, of course, but he _did_ care for the elder. Perhaps more than he ought.

But the god of mischief ignored that dark, forbidden part of himself. Locked it away and refused to acknowledge it save for in the privacy of his own thoughts. And even then, he was afraid of accepting it.

_It is wrong_.

And that was the belief that he clung to- his last defense against the feelings he had for his pseudo-sibling.

A knock at the door to his chambers startled him out of his thoughts, the distinctive bang against the metal easily revealing the visitors' identity.

_What do _they_ want?_

"One moment." Loki sighed quietly to himself, summoning a fresh tunic to his side. He slipped the garments on, dressed modestly once more, and allowed the Warriors Three, with Sif, to enter.

"Fandral healed, then?" Loki raised an eyebrow, seeing the previously injured warrior whole and well.

"Yes, no thanks to _you_. Could you not have healed him when he _needed_ it?" Sif scowled. She had never liked Loki, nor did she trust him. Loki had always found her disdain quite amusing, but now it merely made him annoyed.

"Was it not you, who had always expressed disgust at my use of magic in battle?" the trickster countered, and the female warrior seemed flustered as she attempted to counter his logic.

"Well- yes...but-"

"Enough." Loki's voice cut through her stammered reply sharply. "Why have you come here? Not for my _delightful_ company, surely."

"We want to know what happened to Thor." Hogun answered, staring at Loki with- pathetically- disguised annoyance. "He has not been seen since we returned from Jotunheim."

"And we thought that you, as his brother, would know of his whereabouts," Volstagg added.

"Tell me, why should I inform you of my dear brother's location?"

"Because if you don't I'll cut that wily tongue of yours out myself-!" Sif snarled, looking remarkably like an angry Midgardian feline.

"Threatening a Prince of Asgard?" Loki smirked. "How delightfully treasonous... Perhaps I should call the guards..."

"Sif, enough." Fandral attempted to calm her, placing a hand on her shoulder. It appeared to work, as the female warrior took a deep breath, stepping back.

_Do I sense a relationship between those two?_ Loki mused, saving the thought for potential blackmail material in the future.

Leaning against the wall, Loki observed the four warriors for a few moments- enjoying how they appeared to squirm uncomfortably under his scrutiny.

"...very well. If you must know, Thor has been banished to Midgard."

Volstagg spluttered, and Sif, ignoring the hands holding her back, leaped at Loki.

"I'm tired of your LIES, silver-tongue!"

"It is no lie. The Allfather, is his great _wisdom_," Loki barely managed to disguise a sneer. "has seen fit to strip my brother of his power and banish him to the mortal realm to learn _humility_."

Fandral whistled low, "I'll bet he isn't happy about that."

"No. Thor did not look at all pleased with the Allfather's decision."

"Then there is nothing we can do." Volstagg observed quietly. "We must wait until Thor meets the terms of his banishment."

"But Thor has not traveled to the mortal realm in... how long has it been? Six, seven centuries? How does the Allfather expect him to adapt?"

_Thank you, Hogun, for stating the obvious to these imbeciles so I don't have to._

"And without his power as well."

"We must trust in the Allfather's wisdom." Fandral sighed. "There is nothing we can do. And I doubt Heimdall will allow us passage with the Bifrost for a while."

"Then...we wait?"

_They would be remarkable allies if they weren't so damnably thick-headed._

But their ramblings had given him an idea. They could not travel to Midgard to find Thor. But _he_ could.

The idea was deliciously rebellious- the Allfather would surely have a fit. But Loki would be damned if he allowed Thor to get himself killed by bumbling stupidly around Midgard in his mortal form.

He interrupts the warriors' chatter, pushing them aside and walking out of his chambers. Loki ignored their protests, putting them completely out of mind- he had no need for those buffoons at the moment. Ducking into a hidden alcove, Loki shielded himself from Heimdall's gaze, before making his way to the hidden tear in this realm.

_I will find you, Thor. Try to avoid doing anything too stupid until I get there._

* * *

**A/N: This is a plot bunny that jumped me when I was watching Thor again. It will be multi-chaptered, but updates might not be as consistent or as frequent as they are in **_**To Rescue A Trickster God**_**. I can only write so fast, unfortunately.**

**Please review? I love feedback, and it helps my writing, knowing what you think of my stories!**


	2. Chapter Two

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not own Thor, the Avengers, or any of the characters. I'd like to think only the plot belongs to me, though even that is heavily influenced by the movies. Only thing I own is the television I used to watch them and the computer I use to write this story.**

**WARNINGS****: Cursing and not-really-violence? **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

* * *

Thor was unsure what the son of Couls meant when he'd said he needed to "take this. Excuse me." But the thunderer was relieved to have a break from the interrogation. The mortals had yet to resort to torture, but he was sure that, given enough time and Thor's refusal to answer any questions, they would abandon their principles and morals in order to get answers. Answers which Thor would never, ever give.

Midgard had changed, drastically, since Thor had last visited. It was a strange new world of "technology" and "cars" and "drive-thru's" that both baffled and intrigued the god.

It was also dangerous. For while he still possessed a strength most mortals would kill to have, he had no powers, no god-like abilities. Even Mjölnir resisted his call, much to his fury and upset.

Oh, how he missed Asgard, with its glorious feasts and praise of battle- the shining towers that soared much higher than these mortal "sky-scrapers". With air that tasted of sweetness, not this metallic, dirty oxygen that clogged Thor's sinuses and made him cough.

Yes, Midgard had most certainly changed. It amazed him how creatures that lived such short lives could manage to develop and advance so _quickly_. It confused the god, something he wasn't happy with.

_No doubt Loki would have something to say about that_.

He missed his brother. It had been only a few short days, but already he longed to see his family and friends once more. This strange, alien land caused the thunderer to be more homesick than he ever had before.

But he did not regret going to Jotunheim. At least, not yet. Even the thought of those cold, blood-thirsty frost giants meeting his hammer sent a thrill of triumph through his gut. No, he did not regret it in the least. Perhaps he should have been more cautious... but caution had never suited the god well. No, that had been Loki's style- think before acting, plan before proceeding. Scheme and plot and strategize, that was what his younger brother did best.

Thor simply did not have the patience or, as Loki often put it, the intelligence to plan his attack before charging in. It simply was not the thunder god's forté.

He wondered how his friends were faring. No doubt wondering where he was, and planning to retrieve him, seeing this like another quest, another glorious battle to be fought.

Thor sighed, rolling his neck tiredly. This position they had put him in did no favors for his posture, or his comfort. He wondered when the son of Couls would return- it did seem like he had been gone for a while.

Shutting his eyes, the thunderer slumped wearily in his seat. Without his power, it appeared his stamina had suffered greatly, and he was quite tired. The thought made his pride sting, but there was nothing he could do. He could only hope his brother might try and convince their father to end his banishment soon...

A muffled yelp and a sickening crack could be heard through the walls of the interrogation room, startling Thor into awareness. He looked towards the door with unease- perhaps the Midgardian Jane had come to rescue him?

_Nonsense. There is no way she would be able to break into the compound. Even _I_ had trouble doing so._

Another snap made Thor unconsciously flinch, before scolding himself internally. He had cracked many bones in his countless battles- why should he cringe at the sound now?

But the answer, of course, is that it was not _he_ doing so now. He wasn't sure why that particular nugget of truth shamed him.

The alarms of the compound were wailing- the sound shrill and annoying. It made his hair stand on end, something he did not enjoy. It sounded as if a battle was going on- the Midgardian weapons that Thor had no name for were echoing loudly, and the mortals were shouting and screaming.

It felt like several minutes the battle went on, when abruptly they ceased. Thor's ears strained to hear anything- a breath, a footstep...

The door to the white room opened, and Thor could not believe his eyes.

"_Brother?_"

* * *

"Look at the _mess_ you have managed to create for yourself, Thor..." Loki sighed, releasing his brother from the metal chair. He glanced over into the one-way mirror, tsking when he spotted a stray drop of blood on his Midgardian suit.

"Brother, how did you get here? Did father send you? Am I allowed to return home?" Thor could not disguise the hope in his voice, rising with every question.

"You are still banished." Loki replied. "What, did you _honestly_ think he would let you off so easily after what you did? Really, Thor, use that brain of yours for once."

"Then why are you here?" The Thunderer growled, disappointed that he would not get to return home as soon as he had wished.

"I am here to ensure you won't get yourself killed. _What_ the Allfather was thinking, sending you here unprepared, I shall never understand." Thor did not miss his brother's use of Odin's title, instead of 'father'. But he decided to not press it- surely Loki was merely as annoyed with the king as Thor.

"I've done fine so far!" Thor protested, scowling at his brother.

"Yes, a fine job getting yourself captured by one of the more intelligent Midgardian secret organizations and revealing your connection to Mjölnir in the process... Honestly, Thor. Do you never _think_ before you act? Don't answer that." Loki began pacing- a habit Thor knew him to revert to when frustrated or upset.

"These mortals have changed, brother. They are not as they once appeared!"

Loki's pacing increased slightly. "No, they are not, which is _precisely_ why you should have never been sent-"

The trickster god never got to finish his sentence, as hurried footsteps rounded the strange round corridor, and Jane appeared panting and out of breath.

"Thor, are you alright? I thought I saw- oh shit."

The brunette spotted Loki, her eyes widening in fear as she froze, suddenly and completely terrified.

"Ah, lady Jane! Might I have the pleasure of introducing you to my brother, Loki-" Thor began, a large grin on his face. It faltered at her horrified squeak.

"_B-brother?_"

"Yes... that it what I said." He answered patiently. "Are you alright, Jane? Does something ail you?" His deep concern made Loki want to scoff.

"H-he... I- I saw... You MURDERED those people!" Her fear was still evident, but it had given rise to fury.

"And?" Loki inquired uncaringly, making a show of examining the spot of blood on his suit.

"_And_? Are you kidding me? How could you, you bast-"

Thor was up so fast she could have sworn he was shocked by lightening. "Do not speak of my brother in such a despicable manner! Do you not see? He has saved me!"

"_Saved_ you?"

"If it is any consolation, my _lady_," Loki grinned, teeth reminding Jane uncannily of a shark. "I did leave a few of them alive..."

Thor gave his brother a disappointed look as his words caused his new Midgardian friend to pale considerably. No doubt that is what Loki had intended. "Brother, enough. It is obvious lady Jane is unsettled by this conversation. Perhaps we ought to change the subject?"

"Or _perhaps_," the dark haired god sneered briefly. "we should retrieve Mjölnir and leave this place entirely? No doubt that is what you intended before you managed to get yourself captured."

"Yes, of course." Thor would certainly not admit that he had completely forgotten about the ancient hammer in the distraction of his brother's appearance.

"Mjölnir? What's a Mjölnir?" Jane was completely confused, and her words caused Loki to roll his eyes.

"Come, my lady Jane! I shall show you!" Thor was obviously eager to show her his hammer. The thought made the god of mischief scowl.

Casting an uneasy- and still upset- glance at Loki, Jane took Thor's offered hand carefully. Her teeth worried at her bottom lip, she had no idea what to make of the two strange people. Loki, especially, set her on edge. He seemed far more cultured than Thor, and the brief glimpse she had caught of the slimmer male's green eyes caused goose flesh to erupt on her skin. She had never imagined a gaze could hold so much _intelligence_. She felt like an insect being inspected under a microscope, and the thought did _not_ sit well with the astrophysicist.

She stuck as close to Thor's side as possible as he led her through the compound. It felt as if Loki was trying to burn a hole into her back with his eyes alone, and that made her cling to Thor like a shield. She had _seen_ the destruction the brother had caused with her own two eyes- well, binoculars. And from what she had seen, Thor had nothing on the other brother in terms of battle.

But it didn't make _sense_! Thor was physically so strong- he made bodybuilders look like twigs in comparison. And his destruction breaking into the SHIELD compound had been impressive, yes. But if Thor was like a flyswatter whacking an insect, Loki was a bug bomb in an ant hive.

The thought sent chills up her spine, and she firmly resolved to think of it no further for the moment. It would do no good to wildly speculate without all the facts, and she was sure she was missing a _hell of a lot_ of them, too.

Loki smirked. He could practically _hear_ the gears in the woman's mind turning. Let her try to figure them out, he would amuse himself in the meantime by imagining her giving herself an aneurism in the process.

But the thought quickly bored him, so he instead spent the rest of the walk glaring at the back of her jacket.

Thor could not believe his luck! Loki was here, and Lady Jane was safe. He was sure, given time, the two would become good friends.

_Like you were sure the Warriors Three would become friends with him?_

But that was different- Hogun, Fandral, and Volstagg were warriors. Fierce fighters and companions in battle. Jane was an intellectual! That was far more Loki's alley. Though if Thor had bothered to look, then he would have caught his brother pinning the brunette with a glare colder than the ice fields of Jotunheim.

They arrived in the center of the compound, built around the muddy tower supporting Mjölnir. Thor recalled his shame and fury at not being able to lift it. That had been a rather humbling experience he would definitely not care to repeat any time soon.

"See here, Jane. The legendary Mjölnir, forged in the heart of a dying star. It is my preferred weapon in battle."

The woman gave a nervous laugh, fixing Thor with a wide-eyed look that said she clearly questioned his sanity.

"Alas, I cannot lift it. I suspect my father, the King of Asgard, has tampered with it to ensure I do not end my banishment too soon."

"Banishment? Wait, hold on... _King?"_

"Aye."

Jane looked nervously between Thor, Mjölnir, and Loki (who had refused to step down into the mud) as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"But- but..."

"You think myself mad." Thor observed sadly, ignoring his brother who cleared his throat and looked rather amused at the thunderer's attempts to explain.

"Well..."

"I understand." He nodded, sighing regretfully. "Unfortunately, I cannot prove to you my sanity until I get my powers back." He gave Mjölnir a half-hearted yank, as if hoping it would have somehow changed its mind and allowed him to lift it from the muddy pedestal.

"Are you finished showing off your hammer, Thor?" Loki asked with a raised eyebrow, leaning against the railing above the mud. "As I would like to leave as soon as possible."

"I won't just leave Mjölnir here, Loki. So unless you have a clever plan in mind to pry it away...?"

The god of mischief gave Thor a look of utmost derision. "_Why not_," he began mockingly. "_move the rock with it?_"

Thor looked completely perplexed by this logic, causing Loki to snort.

"Honestly..." with an annoyed flick of his fingers, the god sent a small amount of magic towards the hammer, slicing the rock it rested upon completely. The hammer raised- a half pillar of mud suspended underneath- but with each inch into the air, Loki strained. His fingers trembled slightly with the effort of supporting the hammer- for it fought actively against his magic in order to fall back onto the pillar.

Jane was steadily gaping, something that would have amused the trickster god if he wasn't concentrating so hard on simply _holding_ Mjölnir in the air. Gods, why must the blasted thing be so _heavy_?

With a strained huff, the trickster let it drop, a dark scowl painting his features. His magic was powerful, but he did not like the idea of supporting the hammer the whole way.

"Never mind. I refuse to carry that blasted object however far we are going. We will think of something else."

Thor nodded, "You did your best. I would not ask you to lift such a burden unnecessarily."

Jane was still several mental steps behind. "Did you just _float_ that rock?!"

"I believe the correct term is _levitate_. And yes, I did." Loki's sneer made her flinch and look away.

"Who _are_ you people?" she whispers, but the gods choose not to answer. Thor looked like he wanted to, but Loki silenced him with a glare.

_Let her fumble for answers in that pathetic brain of hers a while longer. At least it will provide _some_ amusement while I babysit Thor._

For he had no doubt the thunder god would want her to remain with them for as long as possible. And Loki knew she would refuse to leave until she had her answers, however annoying her presence may be.

_Very annoying. Damn you Thor, for attracting the most abhorrent people to your side!_

* * *

**A/N: Yay, the not-brothers are reunited! Plus Jane. I was never a huge fan of her character, but I'll try to leave my Jane-hate out of this story. **

**Review, lovelies! I adore (worship) your feedback!**


	3. Chapter Three

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do not own Thor, the Avengers, or any of the characters. I'd like to think only the plot belongs to me, though even that is heavily influenced by the movies. Only thing I own is the television I used to watch them and the computer I use to write this story.**

**WARNINGS****: Cursing.**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

* * *

Loki was tapping his pale fingers against the railing, looking into the mud pit where Thor and Jane stood beside Mjölnir.

"I suggest we leave the hammer here for now, if my _dearest_ brother has no objections?"

Thor shook his shaggy head, "None at all. It should be safe, the humans would not be able to lift it if they tried."

Jane supposed she should be nervous at Thor's use of the word _humans_ instead of _SHIELD _or even _people_. But at the moment, she was simply trying function after seeing Thor's brother make the heaviest hammer in the world _float_.

She shook her head, trying to put it out of her mind for now. She resolved to add it to her mental list of _Things To Ask Thor When Loki's Not Around_.

Thor was presently speaking to the other man. "But where will we go?"

"_We_? You forget that it is not _I _who have been banished to Midgard. I can leave any time I wish."

"But you won't. Not when you have taken upon yourself the duty of _protector_..." It was obvious even thinking of Loki as his protector was making Thor frustrated.

"Do not forget it was _you_ who insisted on defying the Allfather and going to Jotunheim. If you had just listened to me-"

"Then the frost giants would have been twice the number they are now! Perhaps more, even!"

"You overestimate your abilities in battle! We would have been killed- killed!- if father had not come to _rescue_ us."

"Then we would have died a warrior's death-"

"Correction: _You_ would have died a warrior's death. Your _comrades_ were just as happy to retreat as I!"

Thor was obviously growing frustrated. Jane had absolutely no idea what the brothers were going on about, but it was clear that Loki had the upper hand in the argument. And it appeared the larger man could sense this as well.

"It is pointless discussing it now. None of it can be changed. I am still banished from Asgard for the foreseeable future."

"Oh wipe that look off your face, Thor. You look like a kicked puppy-"

"A what?"

"Never _mind_." Loki sighed, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "Now, are you going to ask your new lady friend for a place to stay or do I need to inquire for you?"

Thor resisted the urge to flush with embarrassment- he had completely forgotten Jane's presence since he had begun arguing with his brother.

"Ah- of course. Certainly. Lady Jane?"

Jane jumped as if water had been thrown on her, so lost in her thoughts she had become. _Again_.

"Yes?"

"I, and my brother-" here Loki glared. "-wish to know if you have someplace we may reside until more permanent quarters are available?"

She blinked at the question. "Well, I have a trailer, but it can't hold all three of us. And my apartment is too far. So unless you want to be stuck in a car for six hours..." Not to mention she was sure she would have a panic attack if she had to sleep anywhere in a fifty-foot radius of Thor's brother.

Loki supposed he could have been chivalrous and offered to find another arrangement for himself- but there was absolutely no way he would allow his brother anywhere with that Midgardian witch _alone_. And besides- chivalry did not suit him.

"Oh, I'm sure we can manage," Loki grinned, enjoying the way she gave a squeak of fear at the thought.

"No no- really- it's barely big enough for _myself_- trust me, it's not even worth attempting..."

Her stammered excuses really were amusing, but Loki resisted the urge to make her more uncomfortable. His brother would remember later, and hit the trickster with his hammer once he gets it back. And Loki _really_ didn't want to test Mjölnir's strength with his skull.

At Jane's words, Thor gave his brother the biggest set of pleading eyes he had ever seen that had the mischief god shaking his head.

"No, no, no, and _no,_ I refuse to spoil you in such a way. You are _grounded_ Thor, whether you like it or not, and I will not pave the way for your comfort-"

"But Loki..."

"_No_."

"What?" Jane was completely puzzled.

"I refuse to enlarge your _trailer_ simply to accommodate my brother's needs. It is a frivolous waste of magic, and I will not do it!"

Jane was left once again gaping. _He can do _what_?!_

"Loki, it would only take you one moment. You would hardly waste your magic, everyone knows you are the most powerful sorcerer in Asgard, aside from father-"

"Your pathetic attempts at flattery are _not working_!"

"_Please_?"

Thor looked rather confused as to why his voice had an echo, until he realized that Jane had asked at the same time as he. She had this look of wonder and curiosity on her face that Thor was sure would make his brother cave to their wishes.

_"Absolutely not!"_ Loki hissed furiously. He would be damned if he did anything that harridan asked!

Thor had been sure with Jane's added pressure his brother would cave. But it appeared not.

"Then what should we do?"

"I've been over this already Thor. It is _you_, not _we_, who requires living arrangements!"

Jane was the one to interrupt this time. "Maybe, we could camp?"

"Pardon, my lady?" Thor looked curious as to what she meant by that.

"You know, sleeping under the stars, roasting marshmallows, singing campfire songs-" Loki glared. "-right, no singing. But seriously, it would be much better than squeezing into my tiny trailer."

"Ah, a brilliant idea! And where do we go to 'camp'?"

"_Outside_ my trailer."

"Wonderful!"

Thor payed no mind to the fact that he had absolutely no idea where this "trailer" was located, but he was sure that should he stray from the correct path, Jane would correct him.

"We don't walk, Thor. We drive."

"Using your 'car', yes?"

"Van, but yeah." She gently took his arm and pulled him towards the exit from the compound.

"Brother, are you going to come with us?" Thor asked, looking back at the god who was busily scowling at Thor's arm, much to the thunderer's confusion.

"If I _must_," he sighed, following the pair. Oh, how he hated to think of them as a pair.

* * *

Thor eagerly climbed into the seat beside Jane's, once they reached her van. He loved riding in these mechanical horses, they made the strangest of noises and could go much faster than any steed Thor had seen, except perhaps Sleipnir. He had already learned which buttons were okay to touch and which ones made Jane (gently) scold him. He did not hesitate to push the radio button and turn the volume up as high as it could go, much to Loki's displeasure. Jane didn't seem to mind.

They reached her trailer after quite a bit of time, and Thor was quite eager to help her ready them for camping. Loki, for his part, made a show of looking bored as he observed their surroundings- absolutely refusing to lend his aid. Jane didn't seem to mind that either. Anything to ensure as little interaction with the guy as possible.

Jane removed the sleeping bags that were typically reserved for Darcy and Eric, grabbing her own as well.

"Will you join us, brother?" Thor asked, crawling into his own once Jane explained how to use them. She had, in a fit of sadism, given Thor Eric's blue sleeping bag, and given Loki Darcy's.

Loki looked to the pair, but did not answer, merely scoffing as he leaned against the van and looked up into the cloudy night sky.

Jane abruptly felt guilty. _Maybe I should have given him Eric's... Thor certainly wouldn't care if he got landed with a Desperate Housewives sleeping bag._

Loki, of course, did not care one wit what it looked like. He absolutely refused to sleep at all. No, he would be keeping one eye on that harlot all night long- he didn't trust her as far as he could throw her.

Well, as far as a mortal could throw her. For his part, Loki could throw her very, _very_ far if he cared to.

_That would be an amusing thing to watch..._

Thoughts of violence aside, Loki was _not_ pleased with Thor's new follower. No doubt his brother continued to naively hope they would become _friends_.

"Absolutely not." The thought sent a wave of nausea through him.

"Pardon?"

Gods above, couldn't the shrew fall asleep already? Thor was already out, and snoring like the thunder he controlled. _Had_ controlled.

"It is nothing." He scowled inwardly, looking down at the brunette.

"Doesn't _sound_ like nothing." She raised a challenging eyebrow, and the sight looked so completely _not_ threatening Loki could have snorted.

"It does not concern you." A lie, but Loki prided himself on being the master of lies and half-truths.

She looked like she wanted to believe him, but decided to continue to press.

_Thor has managed to find himself yet another being who is as stubborn as he!_

"You seem angry. Why?"

"I am not angry."

"Yes you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"If you continue to foolishly pursue the subject I _will_ be angry."

"What's wrong with Thor?"

Her sudden change of subject had Loki blinking.

"Excuse me?"

"He's strange. You are too, but... not in the same way."

Ah. She was wondering why his brother knew next to nothing about her culture.

"Are you asking me what managed to hit my brother on the head so hard that he acts with childlike curiosity any time you show him something shining, blinking, or otherwise in the category of 'technology'?"

"He was hit on the head?!" Jane sounded scandalized.

"Don't be stupid. I was joking."

She blushed, looking away.

"...yes, I would like to know why he is different."

Loki's lips pressed firmly together and his arms crossed as he considered the human before him. No doubt Thor wished to tell her himself, but truthfully, he doubted she would believe the golden god without proof. Just the thought of his disappointed face when he learned Jane knew about them was enough to seal the deal for the trickster.

"He is not from this world. Neither am I."

"I see." Huh. She took that remarkably well.

"But then why are you so..."

"Knowledgeable?"

"Exactly."

"It is quite simple, really. Rather than waste my days sparring and battling with comrades, I choose to spend my time reading. Studying. Traveling. And to be frank, Thor has not bothered to visit your world since the fourteenth century."

Now that got a reaction. Finally. "WHAT?!"

Thor must have been exhausted. Even Jane's shocked exclamation didn't so much as stir him from his slumber.

"Indeed."

"Are you _shitting me?"_

"Not at all."

"Holy _fuck_."

"Hm."

Jane sat there for several long moments, eyes wide and brain struggling with the knowledge that the man snoring next to her had to be at least seven hundred years old. She was trying very, very hard to keep from running screaming in the other direction. And Loki, that bastard, looked like he enjoyed every second of her panic.

"But- but-..."

"Yes?"

"What the hell are you? Aliens? Monsters?"

"I believe the word you are looking for is _gods. _Well, that is what your ancestors called us. A fitting name, I think."

"That isn't possible."

"And why not?"

"B-because...!"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "That really isn't a very good reason. But I will let you attempt to think of another."

"Bastard!" She glared furiously, drawing an amused smirk from him.

"And what if I don't believe you?" Jane asked, challenging.

"Then don't. I really do not care either way. Might I remind you that _you_ asked."

"This has got to be a dream. I'm asleep, and when I wake up I'll laugh at what a horrible nightmare this whole day was."

For some reason this made Loki cackle, and the sound had her eyes widening.

"You are going to be so very _disappointed_ come morning when you realize that this was no dream. You and Thor, for I do believe he had been hoping to break the news to you himself."

Jane could have sworn Loki's gaze dropped below zero degrees, and the icy glare he fixed her with made her whimper in spite of herself.

"Your presence bores me. I have no wish to speak with you any longer. _Sleep_."

Loki uncrossed his arms, pointing two fingers at her forehead, before lowering his hand. As it dropped, she could feel her eyelids slide shut against her will, and her mind began to slow.

_Bastard..._ was Jane's last coherent thought before she fell unconscious.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was boring to write, in my opinion, but it needed to happen to forward the plot. I just hope it wasn't too terribly painful to read!**

**Review? I love hearing from all of my lovely readers!**


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